Keeping your Cool in a Hot Climate: 6 Ways to Maintain your Mental Health While Living in a Foreign Country
When I first moved to China in the autumn of 2013 I went to work as an English teacher. Adjusting to life in a sweltering, chaotic Guangdong province city whose name I’d never heard two months prior wasn’t easy. The following is a list of calamities I suffered early on in my Chinese adventure:
- I had a giant cockroach crawl through a sewer grate and up my leg, while a toothless street urchin in ripped cutoff jorts and mismatched shoes pointed and cackled at me
- Was caught in a Tsunami-level storm while waiting for a bus
- Got lost in the alleys of a seedy neighborhood near the Mainland China – Macau border. Miles from my apartment without a cell phone or any Chinese language ability
- Had my Kindle stolen from my coffee table, while I was taking a shower. (The culprit turned out to my company-issued roommate. A guy in his late 30’s with a shaved head and sinister grin that had bounced around Southeast Asia for years and was almost certainly a sociopath.)
And that was just the first day. Eventually, my Chinese improved and I became more accustomed to life in Zhuhai, although each day presented its share of surprises. After the rough beginning. I entertained thoughts of returning to the U.S. and cutting my losses. But I stuck with it (or couldn’t afford a return plane ticket, I can’t remember), and now I look back fondly at my 3.5 years in the southern Chinese city.
The expat life has its perks; experiencing a different culture, meeting folks from all over the world, putting thousands of miles between you and your familial issues. Yet, it also poses challenges unlike any that you’ve experienced in life. If you don’t adjust and keep a positive mental attitude, the unexpected can quickly get the best of you.
In this post, I’d like to share with you some of the tricks I learned (mostly through trial-and-error). In order to keep my sanity in my years overseas. While nothing can truly prepare you for life in a country as different from the United States as China. Employing the right strategies can ease the transition to a considerable degree.
Table of Contents
1) Aim to accomplish one thing a day
After you arrive in your new home country, you’ll probably be in a hurry to sort things out. Find an apartment. Open a bank account. Get cell service, and complete other important tasks essential in the process of getting settled in a new place. However, you may soon find–as I did when I moved to China the first time–that accomplishing a lot these things is a lot trickier than they are back home.
Unforeseen roadblocks can stall your progress on tasks that you thought would be easy. For example, I went to three Chinese service providers before finding one that worked with my U.S.-bought phone. I shelled out cash for a sim card that a company representative refused to reimburse me for upon discovering that it was incompatible with my phone. Situations like this–coupled with the added stress imposed by jet lag and a language barrier–can be very frustrating.
So, take it slow. Don’t try to do everything at once when you get into a new country, or you’ll end up being disappointed. Aim to accomplish one task a day in your first week abroad. Of course, the difficulty of getting settled can vary depending on a lot of factors. Such as the cultural gap between your new home and your country of origin, and your comfort with the language spoken. Though, if you are arriving to take a job through a cushy expat package; your company may have a representative dedicated to helping you take care of a lot of these things. If so, good for you!
2) Learn the language (to the best of your ability)
While in China, I met expats that never learned a lick of Chinese. Managing to get by through cell phone translation apps, gesturing (i.e. “handarin”) and the services of a local girlfriend. However, everything was always more of a struggle for them. To be honest, I looked down on these folks a little bit. I felt that remaining more-or-less ignorant of a country’s customs and its language for such a long period; actually took a greater effort than actually attempting to learn a bit of Mandarin Chinese.
If you move to a new country where a majority of the people aren’t familiar with English; you will make your life a lot easier by studying the local language. I don’t mean becoming fluent. Which is a difficult proposition –especially for older folks– but learning common words and phrases so that you’ll be able to order food at a restaurant or ask for help in an emergency situation.
I’ll never forget the first time I successfully ordered food for myself at a restaurant in China. Nor will I forget the embarrassing situations when a person looked me in the eye and uttered two or three simple syllables repeatedly; while I just raised my arms in exasperation and shook my head numbly.
During my third week in China, I went to a little Muslim noodle stall for some stir-fried, hand-pulled noodles. Halfway into my meal, disaster struck as I took a particularly egregious slurp of noodles, sending hot oil directly into my eye.
I stood up and pleaded, “Shui! Shui!” (the Chinese word for water) in the direction of the confused young server to the left of my table. She quickly nodded in comprehension, retreating into the kitchen, and returned with a large bucket of water. Gesturing for me to follow her, she led me into the street, where I kneeled down near the curb. Then, she poured the bucket over my head, which rinsed the burning chili oil from my eye. I would like to think that if I hadn’t known the Chinese word for water at that moment, I might be wearing an eyepatch today.
The point is, to learn the local language to the best of your ability. Because you’ll never know when it’ll come in handy.
3) Make friends, without being too picky
Moving to a new country means that you’ll be leaving most–if not all–of your friends and family thousands of miles behind. Unless you totally hate people, you’re going to have to find some new friends.
Don’t worry, though, there are plenty of folks in your new city’s expat community that are in the same boat. Along with locals that are sure to be intrigued by the proposition of making an exotic new friend (you).
However, you’ll soon find out–as I did–that many expats and locals alike hold beliefs and practice customs very different from your own. They may even be the kind of people that you would try your best to avoid back home. Since you’re in a new country though, its best to relax your standards a little bit, in the interest of gaining companions.
Starting a new life in a new country can be lonely. It is better to have unlikely friends than no friends at all, particularly during the holidays. In fact, I counted a Canadian Trump supporter, a devout born-again Christian, and an elderly ex-police officer among my circle of friends in China. People I wouldn’t typically hang out with–or even encounter–in my daily life back home. My experience was all the richer for it.
4) Follow local customs (to the best of your ability)
No matter how much research you do ahead of time about the country you’re moving to; once you arrive, many of the customs, behavior, or foods eaten by the locals may strike you as a bit unusual.
This was no doubt the case when I first came to China. I was struck by the way the Chinese spat bones and other indigestibles on tables at restaurants. How many locals (particularly middle-aged women) scrambled to get on a bus. Cutting and shoving one another in a mad dash to be first; even if there were plenty of seats for everyone. How people wore plastic gloves to eat foods like pizza and fried chicken. But had no qualms with picking at a communal bowl of food in the middle of the table; while using chopsticks that went back and forth from their mouths.
Maybe these aren’t the best examples, but they are the only ones I can think of right now. The point is, in imitating these local quirks, they become a bit less unusual–if not totally decipherable. The biggest hurdle was learning to use a squat toilet; which is unthinkable for residents of many western nations but, is the most common public toilet in many East Asian countries.
Despite the inherent risk and difficulty involved. Attempting to avoid these toilets while living in China, or another country where squat toilets are common. Will only come back to bite you in the end; like in the case of a stomach bug emergency when there are no western toilets within a one-mile radius. Practice using these squatters early in your stay, and often.
5) Meditate once or twice a day
No matter your temperament, the cumulative stress of living in a different country will inevitably get the best of you. Some combination of unfamiliar customs, a language barrier, work-related stress, homesickness, and discrimination based on your foreignness, will anger or frustrate you. To the point of lashing out publicly in an inopportune moment or deciding its time to pack up and return home.
Somewhere in my second year in China, I was nearing the breaking point. All of the loud “HALO’s”! shouted out of passing vehicles. Old ladies cutting me at McDonald’s or in the grocery aisle. The pointing and laughing of groups of small children. All were making it harder and harder for me to leave my apartment. Meanwhile, construction crews running their drills and jackhammers in adjacent flats at 6 AM sharp on Saturday mornings. Made it painful for me to remain in my apartment.
Then, at a point when I desperately needed relief, I opened up a book detailing the myriad benefits of meditation. It described the most effective means of getting started with the practice. Almost immediately, I took to meditating once or twice a day. I felt my stress levels drop. Allowing me to become more tolerant of all the minor and major annoyances I faced in my adopted home city.
Although sitting still with your eyes closed for 20 minutes at a time may seem challenging to some; this relatively mild commitment is more than worth it considering the many benefits of meditation. No matter the tough stuff your new country challenges you with, I guarantee that meditating for brief intervals once or twice a day will give you the tools you need to endure them.
6) Have an escape plan
Even if you are doing all the right things to nurture your mental health while living in a foreign country There may come to a point when you have no recourse but to return home ASAP. Perhaps something about your new work environment is intolerable, or you find the air unbreathable, or there’s an emergency back home. No matter what the situation is, it’s important to have an escape plan.
In order to make it easy to leave a new country at a moment’s notice. Always have enough saved up for a return flight ticket and to cover living expenses for a couple of months after you go back. Don’t burn your bridges, you may need to stay with a friend or family member for a while once you get home.
Many expats start their journey open-ended, while others have a specific duration in mind. However, in both cases, the end date may come a lot sooner than you imagined. That date is probably the most important thing that you must prepare for.
Wrapping Up
There you have it, these are the techniques that helped me keep a cool head while I lived in China. Now that I’m back in the states, I’ve had time to reflect on the whole experience, and while there’s certainly a lot I would have done differently, I’m glad I figured out the right approach to expat life, eventually.
Again, each country presents its own distinct challenges to expats. I’m willing to bet that living in China is tougher than relocating to most other nations around the world. Maybe you won’t need to start meditating to cope with power tools going off near your bedroom wall early on the weekend. If that’s the case, then you’re one step closer to making the best of your time abroad. I wish you the best of luck in your endeavor.